Political Dogma

Yes, I am a firm believer that dogs and their owners share a number of characteristics.

That can be a self fulfilling prophecy if you go for what I call a lifestyle breed such as a handbag sized chahuahua....chiauhoohaa.......chawawa........anyway, a dog about handbag sized or if you need a working dog such as a Springer Spaniel or Bloodhound.

Others seek out a Bulldog, Staffie or unwittingly take on a small, cute puppy that grows to be a huge and ferocious Rhodesian Ridgeback or possessing similar wholly unsuitable attributes as a domestic pet and companion to family members.

This close association is certainly something I can testify to having been the owner of loveable, athletic, photogenic and somewhat bonkers breeds in the past.

So, if this physical and temperamental matching is tangible then could a dog also assume the political affiliations and beliefs of its master or mistress?

This was the theory that I set out to investigate just yesterday evening.

I was put in the very responsible position of trust by one of the longest and dearest friends of the family in looking after Hugo, a pedigree Border Terrier for a few hours.

He is an only dog and understandably has a privileged and comfortable life. That makes him a Conservative by socio-economic profile and indeed the household that he comes from is similarly persuaded.

We love our friend unconditionally and have shared many good times interspersed with not so happy ones. There is a mutual reliance when reassurance or support is required and yet we could not be farther apart when it comes to politics.

A few hours of exclusivity with Hugo got me thinking about how I could turn him from his Blue One Nation Tory stance.

What better way, yesterday evening, than to try to get him to growl at Boris Johnson during the BBC Question Time broadcast of the main Party Leaders.

It was certainly a challenge as Hugo rarely sits still and has quite a short attention span between chasing tennis balls and more of the same.

My first attempt was to hide away the fluorescent green Slazengers and point at the TV in the direction of Boris Johnson on his plinth in front of the live audience.

"Hugo- that man Boris has stolen your balls!" was my repetitive chant but Hugo has exceptional Terrier skills and rooted out the missing playthings from where I had clumsily hidden them under the travel rug on the sofa.

I clearly had to adopt a more cunning strategy.

Hugo had been dropped off at our house with his travelling bag containing poo-bags, a water bowl and a packet of organic vegetable, gluten free chewy snacks. He had already ripped apart the packet of goodies within a couple of minutes although I had not seen him climb a chair and cross the dining room table to extract them from the fruit bowl.

Just one of the packet contents was left.

I attached this with a bit of sticky tape to the top of the television just above the white mass of hair of Mr Johnson.

Hugo was 100 percent focused on the tempting morsel and I took this opportunity to encourage bad doggy thoughts and emotions about the last 9 years of Tory rule and austerity.

I admit that, as with most seeking to sway the electorate, I did bend the facts a bit and told Hugo that Boris would threaten the very existence and accessibility of public open spaces and impose spending cuts that could, feasibly, result in lower numbers of lamp posts on the streets.

A few gggrrrummpphhhs could be heard but I was unsure if they came from Hugo or Boris, to tell the truth.  The debate on screen was coming to a close and my experiment had not able to claim anything decisive or conclusive.

I am not actually sure of how much a dog can see, hear and appreciate of human forms and dialogue when sat in front of a TV screen or relate the broadcast image to anything in the real world.

The adhesive qualities of the mount for the doggy snack suddenly failed, possibly due to the hot air emanating from the TV and Hugo gratefully accepted the released item as it fell to the floor.

He showed disinterest and boredom with the whole thing and obviously would have preferred to be anyhere else. That could have been cavorting about in the bottom of a ditch or having fun with his like minded pals. I got the impression that Hugo was of the same opinion at that moment.