Late Apology

I was a terrible child in embarrassing my poor, late father in many public situations. This was not done out of malice and may well have been normal behaviour for offspring but will have really made it difficult for my father who was, at heart, a very reserved and private person. His long career in banking, from the age of 15 as a school leaver to taking early retirement some 40 years later, placed a lot of importance on his interaction with the public. He was also seconded into various roles as Treasurer and Chairman for organisations which, I recall, included the Junior Chamber of Commerce  and the Exchange Club in the different towns to which his job took him, invariably every four years, and incidentally, in alphabetical progression. My parents had a busy social life and myself and my two brothers and two sisters would, in true Von Trapp style, sit on the stairs and watch the handsome couple leave, in dinner suit and flowing print frock, through the spindles. Meanwhile, the babysitter would be standing around looking a bit nervous in full knowledge that her £3.75 for 5 hours work would be hard earned. I can imagine my father, momentarily freed from the grubby grasp of his children, at ease and confident amongst friends and colleagues ably assisted and complimented by my mother. It was only with his recent passing that I have been able to fully appreciate the high regard in which he was held in the community.
Three main events persist in my memory as a consequence of my shameful behaviour. My father had a very good mind and aptitude for mechanical things and always maintained his own cars. He had a good ear to detect loose wheel bearings, mistiming valves or when brake discs needed renewal. I liked to tag along on trips to the local scrapyard to source parts for the Morris Minor in particular. A 1957 convertible which is still in the family after more than 50 years. Busy with dismantling some or other engine part my father was not aware that I had assembled a very nice collection of car badges by prising them out of bonnet lids or off tailgates. Unfortunately my best endeavours had been noticed by the owner of the yard and my father was horrified when presented with a bill for the small engine part plus the pilfered items secreted in his toolbag. I think that he paid for one of the emblems from a Morris. I was aggrieved in my subsequent telling off because I had done all the hard work for the proprietor who no doubt would immediately sell on the car badges at full labour cost.
Us children were sometimes invited to social do' s if they were for charitable purposes. If my father was in deep, polite conversation with guests I would hover around and then whilst my father spoke in his knowledgable and enthusiastic way on all manner of subjects I would butt in and say ' You're being silly again'. My blushing father would playfully dismiss such juvenile intrusions but deep down I now realise that my actions will have deeply upset him and shattered his actual fragile confidence. A bit like an assassination attempt on someone trying to make a go in public office.
The pinnacle of my bad behaviour was amongst family members and a large number of guests at the wedding of my fathers cousin in Somerset. I fidgeted through the church ceremony much to the annoyance of my parents. The boredom was compounded by the waiting around for official photographs in the church grounds. There was some relief during the short drive to the reception at a hotel as there was lots to see. Then more waiting and the unnecessary attentions of distant relatives. I have seen some now faded photos of the event and I must say my attire of sparklingly clean shorts, short sleeved shirt and elasticated tie was most fetching. The happy couple arrived for the meet and greet and then upon the announcement that the buffet was open I shot across the room like a small well dressed whippet, grabbed a plate and got on with the task of filling it and my face. I was oblivious to the hilarity and amusement of the massed reception guests at my explosion from the starting blocks, even ahead of the newly married couple and in complete ignorance of the etiquette and decorum of the event. My obvious cuteness contributed to the fairly short period of probation for this social faux-pas but even now in my forties I am reminded at family gatherings of this sorry episode. My brothers and sisters do tend to hang back from any buffet table to see if my behaviour has improved to any extent. Now that I am a parent of three I am grateful that my own children have not put me through the torments that I subjected my own father to. I too have some reluctance to step forward into public situations but I am encouraged by the spirit and committent that I have inherited and when requested to speak in public I see the room as through the eyes and perception of my father for which I am thankful.