Scouting for boys

Alright, I admit it. I was a Scout. In fact I went through the full scope of the organisation from Cub Scout through to Chief Scout and what a fantastic experience and adventure the whole thing was. I was fortunate to belong to a group with a very traditional and active approach to Scouting which, under today's Health and Safety culture has not been able to survive.We hiked, camped, canoed and sailed, went all over the UK under canvas, played aggressive and potentially maiming games and sang a lot around out of control camp fires. The following activities spring to mind amongst a vast memory bank of my membership from age 7 to 17. These are in no particular order in terms of date or degrees of exposure to danger.
1) Became skilled at fire lighting in all weathers and with many different materials. Most important thing to have is large jerry can of petrol and lots of matches.
2) Built an oven out of a biscuit tin buried in an earth mound and with a chimney made from interconnecting coke cans. This was so efficient that the evening meal for our patrol group was vapourised within 1 hour and we all went hungry.
3) Built an altar fire out of a stack of tree trunks and turf. This was so efficient that the midday meal for the patrol group was burnt to a crisp within 20 minutes and we went hungry.
3a) In response to burning things soon developed a knack for producing wonderful salads.
4) Cooked 10 gallons of hot stew in a large dixie can. Main ingredient was cider with some chicken and veg thrown in. Went for seconds, thirds and forrfffs.
5) On a free day during the annual weeks pack camp in the Peak District had a full wash in the facilities in a department store in Sheffield. Lovely.
6) Successfully prevented tent and patrol from being washed out by floods by excavating a deep drainage trench around same.
7) Was top fund raiser in 'bob-a Job' week following cornering of the car wash market using my fathers supplies of expensive turtle wax polish and liquid chrome cleaner.
8) Set fire on various occasions to various tents, sleeping bags ,equipment and smaller scouts, mostly by accident but intentionally if felt bored and with no food or firewood within 5 miles.
9)  Tested and proved the theory that human methane is highly flammable and there is a real risk of scorching to tender parts and spontaneous combustion if not too careful.
10) Invented but failed to patent device for mountain climbers and fell walkers to carry large amounts of food and souvenir pebbles whilst keeping hands free for eating Kendal Mint Cake. The device was later exposed as the knotted sleeves of a jumper tied around the waist.
11) Witnessed Jeremy Phipps make a mega jam sandwich out of a whole loaf of bread and eat it. Later discovered the bread came from our patrol larder and consequently we all went hungry.
12) Earned my Electrical merit badge by manually flashing a light bulb on and off in a pop-up book of Jules Vernes 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
13) Proved the theory that if you run your finger along the inside of a canvas tent during a torrential rainstorm this forms a conduit for water to seep in and flood the tent. Dug a deep drainage trench in the tent to let the water run out.
14) Nearly wet myself restraining a massive  fit of giggles on the front row of the Methodist Church balcony whilst attending Remembrance Day as a representative of the Scouting Movement and during the quiet contemplative parts of the service.
15) Proved the theory that hollow plant stems filled with dried bits of vegetation and the odd earwig can give as much satisfaction as a drag on a proper cigarette.
16) It is not always the most efficient way to start a fire by rubbing two girl guides together.