Choc Exchange

I am convening the inaugral meeting of my think tank on a very important issue of economics. It is a very appropriate time to bring my motion to the attention of the nation, although I do feel that there is certainly a global relevance as well. It is darkest January after the splash of cash and bright lights of Christmas and New Year. Time to take stock and try to get through to the next pay day without having to resort to the offer of a loan at 1734% APR or having to take time to make stock. Economies have to be made. I am proposing the establishing of a Choc Exchange. We will all have in our possession at least one or more of the following multi coloured tins of sweets, Nestle Quality Street, Cadbury Roses and Mars Celebrations. I will excuse any further involvement in my debate if you have any strong feelings about any of the aforementioned conglomerates on the basis that they have made you redundant, have agressively and on a hostile basis taken a quintessential part of a British Institution with no respect for tradition, are based in Slough or just make crap chocolate. For those still on board I request a short phase of market research. Gather up any of the mentioned tins if still in circulation and with some of the original contents and for each one prepare a spreadsheet . The left axis should state the descriptive name of the chocolate sweet and then one further right hand column for tallying up numbers. I use for illustration purposes my own surviving tin of Quality Street. No preference is suggested by the order of listings.
Toffee Deluxe  ..................'1
Milk Choc Block ...............0
Coconut Eclair....................0
Toffee Penny.......................0
The Purple One...................1 (mauled by unknown person)
Orange Chocolate Crunch....4
Strawberry Delight...............6
Orange Creme.....................3
Fudge..................................1 (previously melted and squashed)
The Green Triangle..............0
Caramel Swirl.....................0
Toffee Finger......................0

I contend that there would be very similar results for Roses and Sensations in our household. As a consequence of our eating practices there is a definite glut of the fruit infused fillings and these are destined to remain in the tin for a good few months or sent to landfill. Both these outcomes are wasteful, in denying the adoption of a perfectly good tin for ad hoc storage purposes, and environmentally damaging unless someone goes to the trouble of separating the chocs (readily degradable) from their cellophane and foil wrappers.(not so). There must however be strikingly different results throughout the nation and this may indeed be evident from your own survey. I therefore propose the setting up without delay of a Choc Exchange whereby an over supply of, for example, Orange Creme due to lack of uptake or favouritism in one location can be notified and traded for a similar glut of for example, Toffee Pennies in another. There will be those of an awkward persuasion who may argue for an statement of rates of exchange for the different flavours. I can personally see that from my own taste preference I would place a higher rate on Milk Choc Block than my least favourite but by definition plentiful residue of Strawberry Delights. I can already perceive that I have opened up a veritable wrapper of controversy and public indignation in my proposal for a trading platform and market basis for dealing with surplus chocolates. Already the idea is out of control. I expect E Bay to commence activity shortly. There is likely to be an enquiry at Board level for the respective Corporations to assess potential damage to their market share and reputation. There may be panic induced hoarding of specific flavours. There will almost certainly be the emergence of the chocolates which by accident or intention resemble famous people or religious events. The shady economy will start to steal any chocolate collections left on display on kitchen worktops or window cills and melt them down for re-casting as fake versions of the higher valued sweets. Strange bastardised versions will emerge from sweat shops and slave labour. Some good may come out of the resultant chaos and choconomic meltdown. It may, at least sound the death knell for the most, frankly awful flavours and that will please a good proportion of the population who, every year, have to pretend to enjoy them for fear of upsetting hosts and those who gave them as an easy option gift in the first place. As a starter, I can place on offer for the inaugural dealings of the Choc Exchange my entire supply of Brazilian Darkness (Cadbury Roses) and I await the start of a new and exciting world of trading..........