Teenage Kicks

It is a very valid question. Forget the ethical and 'what if' issues and ask yourself if, given the opportunity would you actually want to re-live your teenage years. I could debate the topic either way from my own experiences which were either fantastic and formative, bitter-sweet or just downright awkward and cringeworthy. I actually dreaded my emergence into the teenage world. The age of 13 was both superstitiously top loaded and hormonally difficult. There is uncertainty on how to behave and anxiety about how you are perceived, whether as a large child or a young fledgling adult. It is a time for feeling not being able to do anything right in the eyes of parents who perhaps expect an overnight transition into sensible adulthood. This is very difficult when combined with a metabolism gone wild, a voice gone squeaky and bits of body either erupting or emerging when least expected and certainly when not wanted. I was, throughout my teenage years very shy and reserved in the company of non-family. Perhaps a bit more confidence would have worked wonders but in retrospect my natural reticence to put myself forward for things or to draw attention to myself was probably the best way to keep me out of trouble. I soon found that a sense of humour was very useful to deflect attention or potential conflict.  A well timed comment or observation would get a laugh but only if delivered with a dead-pan and dry attitude. This still serves me well today although the downside is that I am never taken seriously even if I am trying to be. As a consequence of my humour defence mechanism I found myself just on the edge but still a part of the popular peer group which was the perfect place to be. A bit like sitting on the fence but avoiding splinters and falls. My education up to the age of 15 was at an all boys Grammar School. The girls High School was only segregated by a teacher patrolled fence at break times so it was natural that under a reform of the system the two establishments merged into one large Secondary School. This was not however before a couple had got amorously carried away at the fence in full show of the school. As an indictment of the old standards and system the female participant was expelled and the lad eventually progressed to become Head Boy. I had co-ed classes from age 15 and what a difficult time that was. My chosen options of Arts subjects rather than sciences meant that there were only three boys amongst a class of 20. The two year maturity gap was very evident at this age. The blossoming young women of the class were going out with the older sixth form boys and we were left talking amongst ourselves about footie, films and music. I did manage to invite one of the developed girls to a disco but had to ask my father to provide transport there and back. During the evening the girl ditched me and hooked up with an older lad from her town. Embarrasingly for me but of amusement to my father was the snogging of the couple on the back seat of the car with me sat up front as we took them both home after the disco. One advantage of having a younger sister was that the two year maturity gap placed me in the potentially attractive category amongst her friends. I was however too self conscious to take any advantage from my new found sex symbol status- yeah, all right.  Teenage ambitions are wide and varied but without own transport or indeed funds there is not much that can be achieved without the practical assistance of parents. One New Years Eve in my 17th year I was a bit worse for wear with drink but busy snogging a lass when I looked up to see my father sat in a chair in the kitchen of the party house. I had lost track of time and he had arrived to pick me up, after all it was well past midnight. I was not sure how long he had actually had to wait and witness my lecherous behaviour. That remains a very vivid but surreal memory as well as a topic of conversation that could be relied upon to cause me to run rapidly out of any family gathering in subsequent years. Survival of the teenage years is a major test but we invariably manage to do it, some with a better complexion than others, some with confidence , others with a criminal record of juvenile delinquency or worse. I would, on reflection be happy to confine those years to my memory rather than attempt to live them again. Furthermore, I feel some sympathy with those at the teenage stage now. It is a vastly different world. Youngsters have direct and 24/7 access to the media and generally know what is going on in global political and environmental issues and in real time. The constant bombardment of the press-popular bad news and being told there is no future in a worthwhile form of employment, little prospects of getting on the property ladder, the need to survive extreme climatic conditions and having to plan for a pension at 18 must be very demoralising. I am thankful for some degree of insulation from the pressures and stresses of my own teenage years by being able to actually be a teenager in attitude and behaviour and not wanting to become an adult, and all that entails, too quickly. You may say that this is an admittance of ignorance but it was mainly blissful.