Playground

I did not fully know or comprehend, at the age of 10 and in a new school the process of getting to go out with a lass. Up to the age of 10 I remember vaguely a girl who was a friend but I had never put the words together to constitute a bona fide girlfriend. At that age girls were just playmates and playground friends. If you were told to pair up and hold hands to go into school assembly or on a trip beyond the school gates you did not have a second thought about whether your walking partner was a girl or boy. Sure, we did play games revolving around the now very non politically correct role playing of doctors and nurses, wounded soldiers and nurses ,cowboys and squaw nurses, six million dollar man and wonder woman nurse or various characters from the Onedin Line but there was no hidden agenda of gender or suppression of ambition. It was quite alright to be invited to a girls party and sometimes I was the only lad who bothered to have his parents drop him off. I was a regular attender in white pressed shirt, blue 'V' neck cardigan, casual but smart short trousersand my trademark fashion statement of an elasticated dickie bow tie.  After all it was only being polite and I had been brought up proper. The under 10's party calendar was the highlight of social activity whether at someone's house, at a church hall or in the function room above a public house where, afterwards we always stank of second hand cigarette smoke and stale beer. They were innocent times. Thinking about girls on an actual relationship basis started to be a bit more serious from age 10 onwards. The move to a new town and junior school meant starting again in making friends. It was always difficult to assimilate into a class where the recumbents had forged friendships and developed arch-enemies right from pre-school. Desk positions were already allocated.There was a defined hierarchy of kids in the class and in the playground. There was suspicion over where you had come from. It was not the done thing to appear too keen to be accepted or too clever in front of teacher. You knew when you had been accepted by being invited to play kiss catch at playtime. Sociologists and Psychiatrists write volumes and make reputations on studies of human behaviour. The game of kiss catch is the perfect illustration of human behaviour. The fittest and strongest are the elite group able to run and run and choose their partners at will. Those of average ability have to settle for average. The chubby kids were soon exhausted and stood around on their own, wheezing or lost concentration and stared up at the sky. I was reasonably fast at running and was able to catch and kiss Lesley Whitehand. Of course at the bell to resume classes the adapted adage applied, "whatever happens in the playground, stays in the playground". I did not realise at the time that my capture and kiss of Lesley Whitehand constituted some form of  contractural arrangement to make us a boyfriend and girlfriend. Apparently this was the status of our relationship for the next five years, right through to late secondary school although we never spoke, hung around together or had any common ground in all of that time. It was obviously an open relationship as we both dated other people. We eventually agreed, aged 15, to call it quits as it was not working. I think that was the longest conversation we ever had to the effect;
Me, blushing and flushed  " I think you are my girlfriend from 5 years back"
Lesley, non-plussed,  " Yeah, it's not working out very well is it- you're chucked".
So, after a short time of forced laughter at our folly and misunderstanding we were both able to move on. It had been a quickie divorce after all that.
In junior school as I gained confidence and a reputation for catching and kissing, another girl let it be known through her friends and then my friends that I should ask her out. This terminology confused me on a number of grounds.
1) Was the asking out a formal invitiation in a form of words or did I just catch and kiss her?
2) Did we actually go out somewhere because at our age and in a small town there was nothing to do.
3) Did I have to lay out any money for a gift or token of going out?
4) Did we have to hold hands out of school?
We did go for a couple of walks around to the recreation ground and sat talking and tight lipped kissing on the pile of out-of season goalposts overlooking the cricket pitch but the relationship was doomed from the start. Oh, and I did swap her for a packet of rainbow drops with my best friend and she was not best pleased when she found out. It was very difficult keeping track of who was going out with whom either officially or not. There was very little opportunity otherwise for social interaction. School disco's were usually just after school hours at 3.30pm. The teachers were of the opinion that the disco was strictly a non-contact event and patrolled the assembly hall forming a defined line of segregation between boys and girls. We were not that bothered at that age. Anyway, smoochy records were stupid when you could leap about and work up a sweat to Slade, Sweet, Wizzard, Suzi Quattro, wholesome and whacky Gary Glitter and Simon Park Orchestra. After junior school came the all Boys Grammar and with very little opportunity to meet and even talk to girls until co-ed classes from age 15. This was definitely a retrograde feature of an all boys school and made the later re-introduction to girls that much more difficult and traumatic. I did not have, or in fact actively seek, a girlfriend for the next five years, after all I did have  Lesley Whitehand as back-up anyway, allegedly.