The Vinyl Solution

Vinyl records are, I am amused to read,  very much back in vogue. I contend that as someone who has never really embraced the technologies of magnetic tape, CD's, MP3's , mini discs (who has?), digitalisation and downloads they never actually fell out of fashion. They were just downsized and confined to a cupboard or the attic, a bit like a disgraced relative or fallen idol. I remember my first actual purchase of vinyl. Embarassingly, now, it was 'Remember You're a Womble' in 1974. A single, 45 rpm which to the under 30's age group who are obsessed and make judgements on the basis of abbreviated terminology means 'revolutions per minute'. LOL, gr8, etc. It cost 15 new pence, a small fortune and enough to exhaust two weeks worth of saved up pocket money, from Woolworths. The record was a birthday present for my big sister. Even more embarassingly I now admit to the world that my first actual purchase for myself was 'The Streak' by Ray Stevens also in 1974. This was a comic song about the popular practice of the time for either political statement or infamous celebrity, of running about in the nude in public.I was not being a rebel or in any way non-conformist as the record was a simultaneous number 1 smash hit in the UK and US.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxXEd2RKjYc

The packaging of a vinyl single was minimal. A flimsy paper sleeve, or a stiff cardboard sleeve either plain or coloured and branded with the record label logo, with round cut out so as to be able to read the label. The vinyl had to be handled with extreme care so as not to be scratched and regularly wiped with a felt cloth to remove the static charge attracted dust and fluff. Storage had to be upright, ideally in a purpose made box in strong odour plastic with a clip catch lip. Heat sources had to be avoided as vinyl was easily melted and distorted even if some distance from a radiator. It was quite a performance lifting the disc out of the sleeve by only touching the very thin edge. Fingerprints persisted on the outer grooves through any lapse in procedure. There was a certain technique of angling the disc up to the light to check for any tell tale signs that siblings had been playing your records or had not followed the strict handling procedure. It was a feeling of great distress and the onset of swift and fearsome recriminations at the sight of a fresh deep gouge or scratch .Before any thought of playing there was time to be spent reading the small print details on the label. The song title and composers, record company details, publishers, a date for authenticity, group or artists names , corporate disclaimers and the recommended speed at which to be played. Our parent's record player was a large piece of equipment, virtually an item of furniture.It was still described however as being portable. Grey textured finish with large hinged lid, main controls on the upper front panel and a sole mesh covered speaker with bronzed grille. For those obsessed with Wattage output, I would say it was about 10 but any attempt to maximise volume caused massive distortion to the sound. The turntable was balanced on raised screws so as to float. In other words, it wobbled easily and rattled if the bulky record player was jolted or moved. The anticipation of playing a record was heightened by the preparation required. The record was lowered on to the turntable. This could be on its own or in a stack of singles depending upon the type of spindle. Settings were checked to allow the arm and stylus needle to be compatible in operation. Size of record being 7" single or 12" album, speeds 33 and a third, 45 and 78 rpm. Finally, the switch on using automatic or for those with nerves of steel and a very steady hand, in manual mode. The arm would then, hopefully and mesmerisingly swing across and lower onto the outer rim and the lead-in grooves. Industries have grown and flourished in the pursuit of noise suppression in things audio but the very essence of playing a vinyl record is for the background hiss and crackle of analog as the band starts to play. In fact the accompanying soundtrack of atmospheric noises gives the impression of a live performance. The resounding clunk as the arm returns to the start position is one of my favourite sounds in signifying that the whole procedure can just be started up all over again. The range of speeds also provided much entertainment. There is nothing more hilarious for young and immature minds than playing a 33 and a third rpm album at 78rpm so as to make international and global recording artists sound like Pinky and Perky or Alvin and the Chipmunks. Conversely, much cavorting about in slow motion action can result from playing a 45 at the lowest speed. I dread to think how much vinyl was lost to landfill as a consequence of the onslaught of digital sound. In my own straw poll of inspecting loft spaces over the last 27 years of surveying I am comforted by regular discoveries of stacked and stored albums and singles but equally disturbed by the presence of pornographic magazines usually in close proximity. I do look through them regularly, the albums I mean, and can confidently say that the records are obviously being saved for another day and not hidden out of fear or bad taste, well mostly. Me and The Boy do dwell on a saturday amongst the vinyl of the indoor market and have recently purchased some 1970's classics from Kiss, Led Zeppelin and Hendrix . The range and choice of very well preserved vinyl is excellent. I often think that I should have taken more care to keep my own, modest collection in better condition based on the prices that these items now command. As with most retro things there can be no place for such regrets. There is infinitely more fun in the persistent playing of and singing along to a vinyl record , nursing the track through its battle scars of scratches, each with a story to tell or where the record just plain gets stuck from inevitable wearing out by a poorly maintained stylus needle. I challenge my own and older generations to resurrect their vinyl collections and authentic record players to the amazement and fascination of the younger elements of the population. Through this route there will be a return to the world of a sense of well being, values and perspective as long as Coldplay do not reproduce any of their back catalogue for vinyl which would be just too much heartache to bare. Crackle, Crackle, Hiss, Hiss, oh,they've started already.