Disgruntled from Blubberhouses

To; The Letters Page
      Yorkshire Post Newspaper
      Leeds

From: Arnie Heginbotham
          Blubberhouses
          West Yorkshire

Sir,

If you and your readership think that the Tour de France coming to Yorkshire, God's own Country, in 2014 is the greatest thing to happen since the discovery of coal under them there hills then I beg to differ.

Men on push bikes, in my experience, are an indication of a deep malaise in a nation either riding to and from poorly paid manual labour or looking for somewhere to lock up their cycles before jumping off a parapet to top thereselves out of not being able to withstand poverty and hardship any more.
For one, I would not like to see my home county associated with such negativity.

I will be the first to offer my congratulations to the likes of Bradley Wiggins (sounds like a Yorkshire name) for his sterling efforts and export drive through biking but frankly, it is not a proper job is it? It is more of a serious pastime or hobby. I hope that he is, in the out of season times, able to find gainful employment to tide him and his family over.

My objections to the hosting, by Yorkshire, of the Tour de France are manifold.

In the first instance I fear it is a subversive way for this Tory Administration to replace the pound with the Euro. I have already seen, at first hand, this dual pricing policy in my local Aldi supermarket and find it confusing and insulting. I do not think that the entourage for such a large scale event would even bother to go to the bureau de change to obtain British currency and a flood of funny money into the Yorkshire economy could be destabilising. I particularly fear for the likes of Betty's Tea Rooms, Harry Ramsdens and our other great export, Aunt Bessies batter puddings.

The tarnishing of cycle sport through drugs is another concern of mine and I hope that measures will be taken to remove all Lucozade products from sale for the duration of the race on our doorstep so as not to corrupt our youth.

The impact of the Tour de France on traffic will, in my opinion be nothing more than disastrous. The gridlock will make that experienced in the opening weekend of Meadowhall Shopping Centre and Ikea (Leeds) seem like a minor inconvenience. Me and Mrs Heginbotham regularly drive out to the rolling countryside with a flask of Yorkshire Tea and your respected Yorkshire Post and park up randomly on a verge to sit in perfect silence for a good few hours when we can. I fully anticipate to lose this aspect of my fundamental human rights as a starter for the duration.

I am also concerned about immigration controls in that I understand that the majority of the cyclists are from those countries in Europe in a state of austerity and a few from the former Eastern Bloc countries. What provision will be made to prevent those intent on seeking political asylum from doing so?.It has happened before in sports events. The last thing we need as a nation is foreigners coming over here and milking our benefits system. It is not as though a cyclist is a reserved occupation anyway.

On a positive note, perhaps the only one I can see in the whole debacle, is the revealing to the world of the beautiful Yorkshire scenery through the media. I have not yet seen the finer details of a route for the pedal pushers but I would hope it would take in the nicer residential areas of Leeds, avoid Bradford altogether, perhaps go up on the high moors and then out to the east coast. Scarborough is very photogenic although the organisers may wish to clear the South Bay beach of undesirables who make up a good proportion of bathers in the peak July weeks. I mainly refer to my compatriots form the industrial areas of South Yorkshire who flock to the resort in the factory shut down period and go a bit mental showing too much pale flesh and tattoo ink for my tastes.

Personally, as for the Silver Jubilee in 1977 , successive Royal Weddings and recently the Queens Diamond celebrations and the Olympics I shall feel reluctantly obliged to vacate the country. I will reteat to my second home in the Dordogne where all of my neighbours are English and we will have none of this French nonsense to deal with,

Respectfully yours,