Dressed to Kill

There are some distinct advantages of being naked and a few social conventions and just plain legalities representing the down side of being unclothed, particularly in public.

One of the main positives of sporting the old birthday suit is the avoidance of injury or worse arising from the actual wearing of clothes.

The facts and statistics of clothing related accidents and incidents are well documented and in some instances make quite disturbing and gory reading. We, of course, take our clothes entirely for granted and throw on just about anything to cover up our naked forms. There is however no longer a satisfaction with just a loin cloth or prehistoric style bikini. Somehow you do get the impression that our ancestors were just patiently waiting for the invention of underwear and top clothes not otherwise a by-product of something they had just killed for food.

There are many forms of threat from clothes.

This may be from the use of hazardous materials in their manufacture, sustaining an injury from wearing inappropriate clothing for a particular situation or even down to the way we actually get dressed. Particular examples amongst these categories of hazard are not hard to find.

A lady was badly burned when her cocktail dress caught fire. The garment had, as a key constituent, nitrocellulose which is an ingredient in gunpowder. A small child was also injured when the chaps on his cowboy suit trousers caught fire because of the use of unsuitable and unstable chemicals in the vinyl. Clothes can also cause an outbreak of skin complaints and irritations amongst a minority of wearers more sensitive to certain substances. We may persist in wearing a favourite article of clothing because it makes us look good and stylish but in the full knowledge that it is a major source of discomfort. That is the price of fashion.

It is advisable to select appropriate clothing for the activity or environment in which you find yourself. This is plain common sense in, for example, Arctic or other inhospitabale weather regions when , you would hope and expect that individuals would attire themselves correctly. There have been many reports of Mountain Rescue Teams retrieving walkers and climbers from high ground upon the closing in of winter storms and blizzards and expressing their shock and surprise at finding the shivering and hypothermia suffering survivors in flip flops and shorts.

It is not only cape-clad Superheroes who run the risk of being dragged into the engine ports of their craft. I did have access to a dossier, a thick dossier, from the Health and Safety Executive listing the results of their enquiries into fatal accidents on farms and on industrial sites. Beware that lumberjack tweed shirt with the flappy sleeves when operating a power take off shaft on a tractor or a straw bailing machine. It may look the part for the job but it will make short work of helping to remove a body part in conjunction with a mechanical process. Flared trousers and inappropriate wearing of Kaftans close to revolving or linear belted production facilities can also impose some inconvenience if getting trapped and introducing flesh and bone to the industrial machinations.

A recent study of hunting accidents in the US made strong recommendations for those partaking in the sport to wear fluorescent coloured clothing, specifically 'Hunter Orange'. This was logical given the inability of gun-wielding types to differentiate between their colleagues taking a dump in the foliage where the flash of bleached toilet paper readily mimics the hippity hoppity action of a startled white tailed rabbit.

Injuries arising from what can be an everyday action of putting on your clothes are also widespread and were reported on in detail recently by an Association representing Chiropractors. The wrestling action of getting into that Christmas jumper, perhaps a bit tighter than remembered 12 or 24 months ago, can easily throw out a shoulder or cause a muscle-pull. Apparently bra's are responsible for much front pain and back pain and it is my understanding that the proper measuring up for a brassiere can have wonderful benefits for health, well-being and posture. Of comparative significance for the male of the species is certainly that millisecond in time and micron in space that determines if your foreskin gets trapped in the zipper or does not.

The ultimate in cautionary tales aound clothing came from my Gran. She regularly told the story of the demise of the American Dancer, Isadora Duncan in 1927 caused by her (not my Gran I emphasise) casual discarding of a long scarf out of a moving motor vehicle. The subsequent action of the no doubt stylish and chic silk garment catching around the rear wheel and axle caused her neck to break.

I have ever since my Gran first and then repeatedly scared us all with this fact, refused to wear my expansive Doctor Who scarf whilst riding in any convertible vehicle.