Aneurin Bevan and Cross Selling Opportunities

 

 

CONFIDENTIAL FILE FOR UPLOAD TO CENTRAL DATABASE

 

 

PATIENT; Male, DOB 17.07.63.

NAME; P****  T******

 

 

Born Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire because he wanted to be close to his mother. Early years development fairly standard what with frequent nappy rash inspired by cotton terry nappies, regular drunken stupors from gripe water, often not able to sleep through the night with bogey man thoughts and strange bedroom wall shadows and progressing to terrible two's, troublesome three's and flippin' heck fours.

 

Early School Years. Younger sister had to sit in with him at infants due to teary outbursts. Slow mental and physical development. Small for quartile. Liked going home for dinners so lacking in playground and canteen social skills. Minor injuries of scuffed knees, loose toenail from errant concrete counter weight on garage doors, sleepy eye, dandruff and occasional fits of rage if Liverpool FC lost a football match. Likes running around aimlessly and climbing things. Good at kiss catch.

 

Puberty. Difficult. Prone to nervous sweats and timidity, particularly in front of opposite sex. Toxin levels high from infusion of talcum powder and products by Brut. Expressed shock at sprouting of body hair and voice took some time to settle down to baritone from squeaky soprano. Prone to development of pimples and spots, some of the more eruptive yellow and blackhead type. Floppy hair and often incongruous sense of fashion and grooming.

 

Early adult. Slow progress to reach optimum height of 5'10" but expressed disappointment at not being at least 6'. Continued nervous disposition and needs to learn to accept limitations. A bit gullible. More of a follower than pioneer.

 

Middle Age. Likes to think still aged 19 to 25. Takes on large physical challenges and fails. Refuses to accept natural ageing process and the importance of rest and relaxation. Afflicted by stress and general worries about the environment, the economy and the fortunes of Hull City. Predisposed to owning leather trousers. Recently bought a new mountain bike but only used once around the block.

Had appendix removed after initial diagnosis of bad wind proved wrong. Nearly died from peritonitis but signed waiver of legal rights thinking it was choices for hospital lunch menu.

 

Likely future care. Reassurance that hair loss and baldness is not that bad. Encouragement not to check for testicular abnormalities more than absolutely necessary or in public situations, eat more cheese and cheese based products.

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Recommended Use of Confidential File Details for Marketing Opportunities for third parties;

 

Grecian 2000.

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Personal Grooming Products

Subscription to Mens Health Magazine or Playboy

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