Stuff

We live in an age, in a culture and with sufficient peer pressure to ensure that just about everyone has done one or more of the following;

Charity parachute jumped
Swum with dolphins
Participated in a fun run or Sky Ride
Walked to Machu Picchu
A selfie in a politically incorrect situation
Shoplifted
Been on TV
Holidayed abroad
Visited one of the Disneyland venues
Worn shorts in public in winter
Bought weekly provisions from Asda whilst in pyjamas
Contemplated or had a tattoo
Ski'd or snowboarded
Donated an organ
Been confused over bodily parts and musical keyboards
Been cautioned or arrested by the police
Urinated in a public place (male preserve only)
Been drunk on foreign soil
Known all of the words to the Rocky Horror Show
Had bad thoughts about David Cameron
Thought about acquiring a hand gun
Skipped a bit in the street
Watched a You Tube compilation of cat antics
Pretended to be on speaking terms with a celebrity
Regretted a haircut
At one time been a student
Drawn in steam on the inside of a shop window
Stood too close to a lit firework
Licked an ice cube tray to see what happens
Owned a Michael Jackson track
Fallen off a bicycle
Driven too fast
Overcooked a chicken
Slobbed out on a Pot Noodle
Experimented with illegal substances
Not washed out a paintbrush after use
Littered
Permitted an unauthorised item in the bagging area
Cheated at Scrabble
Worn the same pants on more than two consecutive days
Thrown something at a cat
Poked suspected mouse droppings with the lickable end of a pencil
Screamed at local TV coverage
Called in to a radio station
Won a chocolate bar according to a lucky wrapper
Never claimed the chocolate bar as above
Signed a petition to save a donkey
Relocated a spider
Squashed a spider if not willing to be relocated
Slept in a tent
Laid out on what was initially thought as dry ground
Promised to learn another language
Mis-identified a common woodland fern as a cannabis plant
Apologised to a neighbour for alerting the drug squad
Forgotten about the day for collection of the blue wheelie bin
Directed a complaint at a white van man
Stood on a cliff and thought about .....it...
Jostled on the Underground
Caught one or more hands in a letter box flap
Put tongue on the positive terminal of a 9 Volt battery
Really feel that £2.80 for a latte is extortionate
Squeezed into trousers at least one size too small
Tried a flavoured vodka based drink
Hummed Christmas Carols in July
Opened someone elses mail
Dieted and binged alternately
Done Tex Mex but not really understood it as a food concept
Queued outside an Apple Store
Parked in a Disabled bay
Messed about on an escalator
Drawn a rude chalk image on a council building
Wondered at the press coverage achieved by Kerry Catona
Painted face blue and pretended to be either Mel Gibson, a Smurf or an Avatar
Been to Amsterdam
Been disappointed by normal chocolate brownies
Put finger in a live electrical socket
Worn a baseball cap backwards
Poked fruit and veg at a street front vendors
Awaited a final demand notice for a utility bill
Denied hair loss
Eaten a whole packet of cream crackers
Pretended to be a secret agent
Scowled at the owner of a fouling dog
Collided with a lamp post on the pavement
Hidden a smashed ornament in the home
Kept counsel with Freemasons
Dozed off during a church sermon
Lingered in a revolving door
Failing to clear ice off a car windscreen before driving
Claimed to have eaten frogs legs
Stretched a maggot to breaking point



So why do I continue to be shocked and amazed when someone says that they have never had Marmite!