It has been a long slog to find premises with the combination of intrinsic qualities of beauty, practical function, intimidating architecture and a few nooks and crannies to house the inevitable trappings of helicopter, submarine, various high performance cars and a shark tank.
I have considered many others but they have always fallen down on one or more aspects.
In the hierarchy of top notch arch criminals and megalomaniacs there has always been a distinct trend for headquarters. In the Bond Movies there were the usual palatial chateaux, mountain top fortresses, inside a hollowed out dormant volcano, undersea complexes and island based retreats. Other leaders of organisations have taken comfort well below ground in bunkers or have stayed on the move in submarines or aircraft. The buildings may have been super high tech and luxurious but most were in very inhospitable locations to reinforce secrecy and thwart potential attack from the authorities or from aspiring rival gangs.I also hear that the "in" thing are penguin butlers so they will need their own space.
That is all very good if you have the best in modes of transport with fast jet, blimp, hovercraft, hydrofoil or space rocket. My new first choice for HQ is readily accessible in the UK and not too far away from a regional airport which are distinct advantages. There has to be enough floor area to accommodate a major organisational structure what with minions, hoods, fixers, enforcers, secretarial and administrative support staff as well as hangers-on, work experience folk, interns and the occasional exchange student from like minded dark Empires.
My own quarters have to be pretty sumptious which goes without saying. Firstly, a large office complete with imposing hardwood desk, sofas and lots of flesh eating plants. The floor should be marbled apart from the section with the trap door above the shark and piranha pools.
The building in question already has a fantastic feature of a projecting glazed atrium in which I intend to spend many hours stroking a well groomed stubbled chin whilst stroking a small white fluffy dog (I have a cat allergy), tormenting captives or just plain old telling all and sundry of my infallible master plan.
The view out over the river is tremendous and provides a great backdrop for when I explode the helicopters carrying away those unfortunates who express a desire to opt out of the syndicate or as I call it, taking the money and running away.
I have it all planned and hope to be in residence quite soon. (fade away to the sound of mad laughter)
Proposed Head Office for ThomCorp, Sammy's Point, Hull, East Yorkshire, UK, Europe, Earth
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