Wishy Washy

I admit to being a first time water meter customer.

This was with some trepidation after the last 18 years of living in a house on a normal water rates tariff.

That period coincided with all of the major water demands of a family with three children, a demanding garden and constantly grubby cars. We of course had sensitivity to environmental issues and on the rare occasion of a hosepipe ban were the first to cut back. The inflatable bag went into the WC cistern to cut down on wastage in the flushing process and long after it perished we continued the commendable practice with half a house brick.

Nevertheless, being on a direct debit monthly payment there were certainly a few times when I lost control and well, simply, gleefully, left a tap running in between actually cleaning my teeth or added that extra depth to the bathtub and luxuriated in a shameless manner, toe caressing the hot tap as though taunting Yorkshire Water.

It all changed with the house move at the end of last year and the ownership of a water meter.

I had to lie out on the pavement in order to take the final reading in the company of the sellers on the day that we took up occupation and witnessed the slow but incessant revolutions of the counter which instilled that previously mentioned trepidation.

Well, the  bill has arrived for our first quarter of metered use and I have been mildly surprised and not a little bit pleased with it.

This is a radical change from my standard reaction in receiving a utility bill which in more recent years has included extraordinarily extortionate demands for gas and electricity consumption.

It appears that in our first 3 months in the new place we have incurred an equivalent daily cost of just £1.33p.

This I find remarkable given that there are three permanent and up to five or more residents bathing, along with water bearing appliances seemingly in 24 hour operation and all other everyday demands.

What fascinated me more however was the amount of water that we used in that period at 37 cubic metres.

I have had to resort to a bit of research to help me to visualise this volume.

Adopting a basic comparison is the fact that a large domestic washing machine has a cubic capacity of 0.6 so extrapolating this means that our useage is the equivalent of nearly 62 full washing machines. I chose to ignore the fact that a fridge freezer on average is 1 cubic metre because the maths is just plain boring.

For those of a couch potato persuasion you may find comfort in the comparison that we used the equivalent of 14.8 three seater sofas.

Beer drinkers may find solace in the statistic that we soaked, rinsed and drank our way through what amounts to 630 brewers kegs.

Those who just like a bath to relax will appreciate that 231 of them could be had in order to match our consumption.

Having just finished watching the Dexter series on TV I have calculated that 37 cubic metres, if in blood, in a homicide crime scene would represent the draining of the contents of 7400 persons.

If of a squeamish nature you may take comfort from visualising our dirty water in 74,000 Starbucks take away Venti cups.

Those in the Egg Marketing Board would be thrilled to know that we have used enough liquid to fill 544,177 standard eggs.

Most comparisons are usually expressed in terms of Olympic sized swimming pools as the easiest visualisation. I will not disappoint although if we had been relied upon to fill the local venue this will have produced a bit of a shallow puddle at only one twenty seventh of normal capacity.

More exciting but equally deflating would be translating water used to say, the equivalent of gas in a hot air balloon, and at only just under 2% of normal capacity it would be more of a whoopee cushion than an elevating experience.

Our flushings and expulsions into the mains drains would fit into the Royal Albert Hall along with 2400 other similar consumers.

In short we have used just over three concrete mixers, being the large lorry based versions and enough to nicely fill a 20 foot long shipping container. All of that and I still share the bathwater with the wife but then again we have to make some concessions in saving the planet.