Child's Play

Childhood and the early years of adulthood can be a very dangerous time. At least it was in the 1960's, 1970's and early 80's when Health and Safety was but a rich seam of potential  income yet to be discovered. I do not hold my parents responsible for any of my hazardous exploits. They looked after me and cared for me but not enough to stifle the inquisitiveness or sheer ignorance of a young lad seeking his way and place in the world. The following are just some of the events that I can remember. I do not think I have impaired memory as a consequence of what I am about to catalogue, but that the occurences were simply too plentiful to recall in full and in detail.
1967- Aged 4 years. Thought I would amble down a beach slipway to fill up my plastic seaside bucket in order to collect seawater to fill up the moat of the sandcastle I had just moulded from the same bucket. Did not account for the slippery nature of seaweed and fell into what felt like a few fathoms of swirly water. I still to this day recall  looking up through the frothy foam of the waves and seeing the sun. Rescued by my father.
1975-Aged 12. Experimented with electrical current by sticking thumb into the socket for the Christmas Tree lights. Found myself on the other side of the room with a sore thumb. Told no-one until now.
1976- Aged 13. Commercial venture to produce ginger beer curtailed after bottles of the first batch exploded in the kitchen gouging large holes in door and walls only minutes before family breakfast. Note to self at the time- do not put screw top lids on gaseous home brew. Also do it in a shed.
1977- Aged 14. This time exposed whole family to potential tragedy. Enthusiastic to get Scouting badge for car maintenance . Supervised in wheel change procedure on the Morris Minor but failed to tighten up bolts on front nearside even though convinced I had done this. Not evident until some miles into journey.
1978-Aged 15. Keen to impress French exchange student, can't now remember her name. Swam out into the North Sea only to look back to the Life Guard Station to see a Red 'No Swim' Flag flying. Alerted to the sheer physical  strength of tidal undertow and just struggled back to the shore. Still in awe of marine things. Not in awe of french girls.
1978-1983. Reasonable period- must have got some sense how not to get into perilous situations. Surprising as coincided with learning to drive and leaving home to get further edukated. I was nearly stabbed outside a nightclub but was only notified of this by horrified fellow students when I  sobered up. Don't really like nightclubs anyway.
1984. Aged 21- Racing in a tractor across a field during summer holiday working. Did not really comprehend that a tractor is not intended for stunt driving on a slope. Up on 2 wheels and very close to becoming a farm safety statistic.
1986- finally grew up and became ultra-cautious about everything but in a good way

There is a lot to be said for the quiet life.