Mere Indulgence

Over the last 3 days, and bearing in mind we are nearly in October, the weather has been astounding recorded at  27.5 degrees centigrade even at as late as 5pm. I don't know if this is just an anomaly as a) the world climate shifts to counter global warming,b) the solar flares expected for 2014 are already happening, c) the Mayans prediction of the end of the world for 2012 is early or d) it's just a spike in temperatures prior to the onset of the next Ice Age. I am holding fire on whether to adopt the following actions. (paragraph lettering as above applies). a) buy a grapevine and a hot tub. b) Dig a large underground complex in the back garden and panic buy essentials. c) Cancel all standing orders and direct debits and let Barclays Bank know what I really feel about them d) order large supplies of rock salt and a dog sled team. Regardless of what actually transpires I have one major regret that, this year, and for the first time in many years I have not hired a boat on Hornsea Mere and rowed out to and around Shit Island.
Hornsea Mere is a wonderful stretch of water. Here's the A level geography explanation. It is Yorkshire's largest natural lake and an inheritance of glacial activity many millenia ago. It is a striking feature and a haven for fish and wildlife. On the other hand, Shit Island is ,in the words of someone who did A level geography, a pile of kak deposited over many years by roosting and nesting birds.Canada Geese in particular have attempted to form a new land mass in the name of that former colony. It is a smelly feature and a bit of a toilet for wildlife. The Mere does represent a challenge though. I am reluctant to hire a boat for longer than one hour and through initially calm but increasingly frantic rowing it is possible to complete a circumnavigation of the island well within the tariff of £4. The booking office forms part of the low timber sheds of the combined boatyard and cafe at the eastern end of the Mere. I think the operation has been a family business for many years and although producing a sustainable income for at least 3 current generations there has been little inward investment. This is not a Dragons Den criticism. In fact it would be an interesting sociological experiment to maroon the current Dragons on Shit Island and see how long it would take them to establish a chain of office supply shops, casinos and health clubs, transport hub, telecommunications network and whatever that rather dour, sour faced lady dragon does for her beans. The charm of the place is the lack of change and progress. The boats are in sturdy hand crafted wood with a deep varnished hue. They are all named after sea-birds or flowering plants in copper plate lettering. They seat 4 persons normally or a large family of eight from  Leeds as long as they have been weighed and evenly distributed over the bow, amidships and stern seat benching. As a concession to safety all crew and passengers are given life jackets although these appear to have been salvaged from the last vessel that went down off Hornsea beach in 1915. The brief safety brief consists of 'stay in the boat and don't touch anything that could bite or looks dead' , also ' do not attempt to make a landing on Bird Island (their rather extravagant name for you know where) and ' on no account try to re-enact the antics of Di Caprio and Winslet without relocating Grandma to the stern seat for ballast' . It is a bit tricky getting aboard the boats from the rickety jetty but you are comforted by the fact that the bottom of the lake is clearly visible even some 20 feet out from the shore. Throughout the £4 passage the lake bed is actually almost always in sight where not obscured by a thick and evil matting of weeds, floating eiderdown and feathers from moulting fowl and seasonal poisonous algae. The oars are rough hewn boughs but worn smooth by the sweaty hands of labouring visitors or frequent periods in the water if lost during a momentary lack of concentration by designated oars persons, thrown at rampaging swans or menacing Pike or where courting couples attempt to join the Hornsea Mere equivalent of the mile high club known as the two foot above sea level club. I think that rowing a boat should form a compulsory element in education not just for exercise and health benefits but to develop co-ordination and teamwork. This would have very obvious longer term benefits for those living in areas at risk from coastal, alluvial and pluvial flooding which, frankly, includes much of the populated areas through East Yorkshire. I am not advocating that the Air Sea Rescue helicopter is mothballed as my master strategy for self-rescue would only apply to currently inland but 'at risk' areas. There is a point in the one hour boat hire when a decision must be made to turn back. If the whole reason for expending £4 is not acheived then there is sadness and blame becomes apportioned on those in control of the oars or navigation. I have seen many mutinies amongst those previously enjoying the waters, a few court marital enquiries but no keel hauling, the latter only because that sort of disciplinary practice is now frowned upon in polite company. On the return and surrender of the boat there is a great sense of well-being which far outweighs any residual dampness to clothing  or disappointment in rowing prowess amongst us menfolk. I always promise to come back soon. This year has been the exception and I will be sure to address this next season. If the weather holds out as per the current phenomena I may keep Boxing Day afternoon free.