Science of Appliance

The large shipping containers, up at the Civic Tip, allocated for electrical appliances are usually full to capacity and citizens laded with all manner of white and other goods often have to wait for the replacement container to be dragged into position before they are relieved. This regular observation led me to conduct an audit of appliances and their usefulness in my own kitchen with the following conclusions;
1) Smoothie maker. Nice looking thing, plasticised mock chrome so sits well with the toaster and kettle. I like the idea of being a smoothie man but frankly the whole performance of production of half a beaker of pithy, pippy dense fruit compote far outweighs any spiritual or health benefits of the actual , is it beverage or food? Since purchase with Christmas Vouchers about 3 years ago it has rarely been used but for eye candy and culinary credibility it will remain as an ornament.
2) Coffee bean grinder. Clean lines, satisfyingly loud and abrasive noise when it was operated but I cut off the plug for re-assignment some time ago and the small appliance gathers dust or can be used for the storage of screws and fixings in between jobs. Nice thought from the giver but again too much hassle versus a level teaspoon of instant coffee or pre-ground.
3) Electric Hand Whisk. A frippery, a luxury that has no place in the world of man. There is no more satisfying job in the kitchen than aggressive use of a standard wire wisk or the older turn-handle type. Furthermore, licking the latter with choccy cake mix or similar sweets is a pleasure - try to same with the electric version and say goodbye to your tongue and tonsils.
4) Mincer. This is a family heirloom and will have been in everyday use up to the 1960's. The heavy casting is bolted to a worktop or table with a clamp ready for insertion of old meat which is pulverised and then forced out like a play-doh hairstyle. Everything can be minced. No doubt a feared tool in the arsenal of a mobster although they would certainly need a lot of time on their hands to feed in a whole body.
5) Bread Maker. Looks like what Homer Simpson pulls the radioactive rods out of on the opening titles. There is no romanticism or mysticism over the use of a bread machine. Just chuck in the contents of the bag of mix, add water, check settings and then go out for the day. I used to enjoy the manual task of making bread from scratch especially as it was a really good way of getting the dirt out from under fingernails.
6) Slo-cooker. This is indispensable in the period October to March for all things stewie and hot-pottie. A real must for the well organised working family. Pack it full of browned meats, fresh veg, some marmite lashings and for the last hour crank it up for the suet dumplings. The downside is that it takes some effort to clean but well worth the sumptious feast that feels like someone else has done the whole thing for you.

I am not planning a trip to the tip this weekend but if I needed to fill up the space in the car I would certainly not hesitate in dumping that smoothie maker or perhaps try and feed the unwanted items into the cast iron mincer and see what happens, sparks and all.