Rap for Alice's new city bike

To be read in rap rhythm and with attitude.....

It's made of metal and it's suitable for pedalling,
It should be sound if no one's been meddling
with the cranks and the chain and height of the seat.
The basket on the front should look real neat
as well as being handy for the transport of shopping
how are the brakes for the purposes of stopping?

You should give it a name, is it a he or a she?
How many gears? in York, you'll need just three
First gear for setting off down  long Lowther Street
Second gear for chasing buses and of course to cheat
on traffic jams, they're bad  but you won't be late
Third gear is the very best for cruising Goodramgate

Keep those tyres pumped up to optimum pressure
Buy a sound trendy helmet to protect our Treasure
You'll soon get the hang of legs as pistons
Can you paint the bike in the colours of Cath Kidston?
You might need a mirror, lights, dust mask and a visor
Be confident and sure, no need for stabilisers

There may not be a hedge to catch you if you fall
Don't worry if you wobble, it happens to us all
as we find our way around on a new set of wheels
Not very different from your first pair of high heels.
When you ride be happy, it's no place for malice
Enjoy your purchase, a new bike for Alice

n.b.
alternative accents work well, try The Queen, Neil Kinnock
and Billy Connolly